my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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