how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
