Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
