did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Ketchup is God's man juice
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
