Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
