hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize