RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
