We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
