and you said cock pushups were impossible
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
