They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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