We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
