you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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