you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
