I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
