She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
