You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think my tv is drunk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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