Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
not ubering you a puppy
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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