i jhust puked up my retainher.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
