my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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