people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
