Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize