i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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