Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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