How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
