im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My butt remains clenched, sir.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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