you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
