mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
