i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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