After last night, I could never be a politician.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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