she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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