Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
