How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
