I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize