I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
