guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
