so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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