I heard we made out
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
