Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore

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(847): View more from Illinois

what did you hear about me?

(630): View more from Illinois

that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around

(630): View more from Illinois

that was hard to say and not laugh

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later

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(816): View more from Missouri

dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...

(1-816): View more from Missouri

Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.

(816): View more from Missouri

that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.

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(281): View more from Texas

I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.

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(352): View more from Florida

As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

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(720): View more from Colorado

when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.

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