don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
