How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
