everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
ugly people sure do ruin things
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
