I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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