My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize