Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
