You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
