Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
