why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
