Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
