There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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