It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
