if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
