I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
