Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
