I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
