Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
