I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
