I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize