thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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