dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
