Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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