Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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