Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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