Need sex. Gaining weight.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Randomize
