AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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