the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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